Hijinks in Maths
by The Scourge
Summary: Duos sitting in his maths exam daydreaming(and failing) and battling with his imagination over his orientation. The object of his affection makes an appearance too. There's silliness and rambling and general whatnot, the title's relatively explanatory.
1. Default Chapter

Hijinks in Maths 

//Duos thoughts//

((His imaginations speech))

This was concocted when I was sitting in my music exam and finished after half an hour. [it's not a bad thing, there were only 2 questions.] But it was continued into my maths exam where I completely blanked at ordinary level questions and got tired of watching everyone around me writing something for the next hour and a half, so thus my story of boredom was born ^_^

_____________________

/Maths. I hate maths. Goddamn maths, why's it so fucking difficult? /

Duo chewed on his pen, watching as everybody around him scribbled furiously on their answer sheets.

/It's not my fault I fluked the entrance exam and got into honours. I warned them, but did they listen? No! Fucking maths/

The supervisor glanced suspiciously at the braided teen twitching in his seat two rows down from her and motioned for him to stop. Duo cringed, theatrically ducking his head on the table.

"Sorry miss."

Students around him glared angrily at the interruption. Duo glared back. Well, tried to.

/What do they care, they're gonna ace the test anyway. Bloody maths genius' / His eyes wandered around the room, landing on a familiar head of messy brown hair.

 /Especially that guy/ He pulled a face at the oblivious teen. /Him with his perfect IQ and perfect posture and perfect ass/

Duo paused…and backtracked…/Perfect ass? I aint gay…/ He shifted in his seat, glancing back to the other boy 

/But it _is_ such a nice ass. So firm, all in tight denim – NO! Notgaynotgaynotgaynotgay think maths! Fucking maths, what could be harder than bloody maths?!/

(You're harder than bloody maths) a little voice squeaked in his head.

Duo involuntarily jumped in his seat, narrowing his eyes to where the voice in his head came from.

/Who're you?/

(Just another random voice in your head)

Duo shrugged. /Sounds good/ He paused for a moment /Hey! What you mean with that comment?/

The voice chuckled. (Look down)

Duo looked down, his face immediately flushing bright red.

"Shit. How did that happen?"

"Mr. Maxwell" a woman's voice hissed beside him. Duo looked up into the angry face of the supervisor. "Stop talking."

Behind her, cobalt eyes stared at duo, a small smirk accompanying the glare. The voice in his head laughed.

(That's how it happened.)

/But I'm not gay/

The voice nodded sarcastically (I'm sure you're not one teensy bit gay)

/Exactly/

(Well I'll just sit here, quietly twiddling my thumbs… talking to myself…)

/My imagination has thumbs?/ A long drawn out groan answered him

(Yes Duo, imaginations have thumbs. As I was saying, I'll just quietly sit here twi- … talking to myself… about random things…… you do know he's on the swim team)

Duo glowered at the voice /and?/

(Oh, nothing. Just thinking how strong he must be. His upper body's all toned, softly rippling muscles _everywhere_…)

/Mathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmaths/

(…And he has to train in those tiny Speedos)

/MATHSMATHSMATHSALGEBRAALGEBRAMATHSMATHSMATHS/

(…and – OH MY GOD, HE'S LOOKING AT YOU!)

/Really?/

Duos head snapped in the direction of the other boy.

(Thought you said you weren't gay)

The braided teen scowled, and with all the eloquence and vocabulary of a maturing student, he mustered together a sentence to show his indignation.

/Fuck off/

(Ooh, touchy aren't we?)

"Alright, finish your papers and put the pencils down. Don't talk until I've collected each answer sheet and don't exchange answers until you are outside the door."

The supervisor moved through the rows at a leisurely pace, collecting the booklets from each person. Duo took the opportunity to casually look around the room.

(You're looking at him again)

/No I'm not/

(Yes you are)

/No, I'm not/

(Yes you are)

/No I'm not/

"Paper, Mr. Maxwell."

(Yes you are)

"Mr. Maxwell"

/No I'm not/

"Mr. Maxwell, I need your paper."

(Yes you are)

"MR. MAXWELL, GIVE ME YOUR PAPER NOW!"

Duo yelped, scattering the contents of his pencil-case on the floor as the woman pulled the answer sheet angrily off his desk from behind him. 

(Yes you are)

The other teen leant over, picking the strewn objects off the floor and packed them back neatly into the pencil-case. He placed them on Duos table, smiling in a greeting.

"I'm Heero." He whispered

"………" Came Duos charming reply.

(Oh, you're a regular Casanova, you) He blinked.

"Duo. I'm Duo."

Heero smiled again and offered his hand 

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Uh, likewise."

"Okay, you can go now. Put your chairs on the desk and enjoy your Christmas holidays."

The supervisor started sorting the sheets into order as the students piled out through the doors. Heero stood up.

"Do you walk home?"

Duo flushed and grinned, "Yeah, usually. But, emm, I don't know if I can right now."

Puzzlement crossed Heeros face. Duo discreetly crossed his legs and pulled his bag onto his lap, crouching over it for good measure.

"I mean, I like staying here for an hour or so, you know, just contemplating."

"Alright. Well, I'll see you over the holidays anyway. Enjoy your contemplation."

Duo put his head on the table as Heero walked out and sighed.

"Oh fuck." The room descended into silence for a whole minute.

"Mr. Maxwell, please leave.

"Yeah, just one minute." /Why do they make these school trousers so bloody small?/

"I'm leaving now and locking up regardless if you're in the room or not."

"Yeah, can I have one more minute please." /mathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmathsmaths/

_____________________

~Hour Later~

/I could get out through the windows/

(Not without breaking them)

/The door?/

(If you want to set off the alarm and be accused of breaking in)

/Fuck/

(My sentiments exactly)

The End 


	2. Hijinks 2

Hijinks in Maths part2 

Disclaimer: I don't own the Gundam boys and never will etc… 

///Duos thoughts///

(((Imaginations thoughts)))

Duo blinked lazily, yawning, as the scratching noise grew louder. He stretched his arms, sitting back on the chair momentarily as a thought struck him. He slowly looked down, dragging the bag off his lap gingerly. And cringed.

/Oh. It was one of _those_ dreams/

"Damn…uhh…toilet paper..."

He stood up and then realised he was still stuck inside a classroom that contained no toilets. Well, the potted plants wilting in the corner begged to differ, but jagged leaves didn't quite have the same effect as tissue. So back to square one. The scratching continued and Duo looked around irritated, pulling his jumper off and tying it around his waist tactfully. 

"Where is that coming from?"

A small *pop* by the window caught his attention and Heero came into view, sliding the pane of glass up noiselessly. He skilfully crept in with an air of mystery and intrigue that was consequently ruined by the conveniently placed bin that caught his foot. He landed in an undignified heap at Duos feet with a loud thump, and wheezed half-heartedly through a curtain of dark hair.

"Ow…Heero to the rescue,"

Duo observed his proverbial, muttering, knight in shining armour cautiously.

"How did you know I was here?"

Heero picked himself off the floor, brushing a banana peel off his elbow.

"I waited."

"You waited? Why?"

His voice squeaked nervously. Heero regarded him seriously.

"I figured you'd finish your contemplation after half an hour."

A surge of blood started, making its way to Duos face.

"You waited half an hour for me?"

"Actually, I waited for about an hour."

Heero sat on the desk opposite Duo, nonchalantly swinging his legs. The blood rushed faster, working on a humiliating red hue at the base of Duos neck. Heero smiled, and the devastating blush bloomed on to our braided friends face.

"What were you contemplating anyway, if you don't mind me asking?"

Memories flooded back from hours previously and the surge of blood started again. Unfortunately, the face was occupied so it rerouted itself to a more irritating place where the phrase 'looking perky' was not what Duo had intended for that moment. He deftly sat down on the table, crossing his legs firmly.

"Moral values."

"Moral values?"

Duo nodded. "Yup, can't have enough of those."

The latter hesitated "I suppose so. Look I'm heading home now to finish my homework. And eat… Predominantly to eat… entirely to eat. Feel like joining me in a celebratory Christmas drink?"

Duo glanced at his watch.

"It's only four in the afternoon."

"It's hot chocolate."

"Oh. That's macho. But sure, yeah I'll go."

Heero grinned and jumped off the table lightly, making his way to the window.

"Hope you don't mind crawling through small gaps."

He looked surreptitiously down the street and pushed the glass up as far as it could go without tripping the alarm, and slid out the other side. Duo followed suit, keeping his jumper around his waist.

"D'you do this often?"

"You'd be surprised."

~*~*~  **_½ hour later_**  ~*~*~

The two teens walked up the drive to Heeros house, engaged in stimulating conversation that only teenagers find intelligible.

"So, um… woah! Ya, like no! … But totally, um… like, um… no… "

Sorry, I kid you. Excuse my use of hyperbole. No, this conversation was coherent and went more along the lines of:

"So you're Japanese. I could never place the accent."

"Well I moved here when I was eight. Parents found better jobs and nine years of living around Americans creates this hybrid you're hearing now."

"Your accent's not that bad."

Heero sent a sidelong glance in Duos direction "You lie beautifully."

The braided teen sniffed in feigned sadness "How could you insinuate something so harsh? I never lie. I merely manipulate vocabulary to fit a variation of a statement for my benefit."

"Yeah, lie."

The pair reached the back door, Heero leading the way through the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Ignore the mess, I still haven't gotten around to organising my walk-in dumpster into something supposedly resembling a room. But there's a couch somewhere under that pile of miscellaneous objects over there, so sit, make yourself at home and I'll get the drinks." 

He dropped his bag on the floor and made his way across the floor, talking over his shoulder

"Put some music on too, if you want. Stereo's on the desk by the couch."

Duo nodded, leaving his bag in a corner and carefully moved towards the desk and picked up a handful of CDs from the expansive pile sprawled over the wooden surface. There was a lot, mainly mellow stuff, but the occasional odd one. He smiled in approval at the 'Alice in Chains' collection and thumbed through the remaining in his hand.

"Nirvana. Never would've thought of him as a Nirvana man."

He took the CD out, replacing the Tchaikovsky disc he found in the stereo with it and flicked it on. 'Heart shaped box' flooded the room as Heero reappeared carrying two oversized mugs of steaming hot chocolate topped with foam, and handed one to Duo. The latter accepted gratefully.

"You've an odd taste in music."

Heero flopped on to his bed, miraculously not spilling a single bit.

"Is it odd because you can't stick me to a certain genre or odd because you just don't like it?"

Duo shook his head, sipping the chocolate.

"No, I like what you have. It's more or less what I listen to. I just use odd as a compliment when…"

Duo trailed off as Heero licked smudged of foam off his fingers, concentrating on each fallen drop.

/Why does a tongue seem so appealing right now?/

Heero moved his attention to the rim of the mug.

/Why does that tongue seem so appealing right now?/

"When what?"

Duo snapped out of his trance

"What?"

Heero put the cup down

"You said you use it as a compliment when…"

The other shrugged, "Never mind"

The Japanese teen smirked in acknowledgement.

"It's a good album."

Duo laughed, shaking his head. "That is such a bad joke." [1]

/But at least he's not licking at the foam/ His expression froze in a sudden thought /It's not like I care about it though/

"I know, I apologise. So what're you up to over Christmas?"

Duo pulled a face.

"Studying maths, a bit more maths and then maths to finish it off. Maybe science. And I'm terrible at maths."

"I'll help you."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"You do know I've the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to maths."

Heero grinned mischievously, leaning forward.

"I'll have to devise a way of maintaining your focus."

Duo took in the grin and glint in the cobalt eyes apprehensively.

/Does he mean what I think he means?/

He decided to voice his thoughts with cunning intentions to fool Heero.

"Do you mean what I think you mean?" then mentally kicked himself  /coulda done that better/

"Only if pornographic doodles running through equations were what you thought I meant."

Relief flooded over the braided teens being, like a refreshing tide over the burning Ents' bark. [Similes and I are so good together.] But he still felt a pang of unexplainable disappointment that every completely 100% straight teenage male feels when denied random sexual favours from very attractive youths of the same sex.

"Yeah, exactly what I was thinking." His confused mind supplied.

"It's settled then. I can start tomorrow and work until Christmas week and either leave it there or continue whenever you want."

He looked to Duo for an answer, his soulful gaze never leaving him. And of course, Duo being our smooth, cool-as-a-cucumber, I am The Man with capital Ts and Ms kind of guy, reacted in such a way that shamed even the most obsessive stalking teenyboppers.

He giggled. And not just any giggle or hearty chuckle. He dived right into the deep end of a shark with laser beams attached to their fricken heads infested pool with lead boots for a life jacket.

He twittered a shrill nervous giggle, blushed furiously and squirmed into an automated shy pose and chewed on his finger.

There was no redemption for him.

It didn't seem to faze Heero… did it?

He looked up cautiously from beneath his bangs after a nerve wracking 30 seconds. Heero bore humanity's' curiosity on his shoulders, a question already forming on his lips. Duo didn't even wait for it. He bolted from the sofa, haphazardly putting the mug on the desk.

"Gottagothanksforthedrinkbye!" and sped out the door and didn't stop until he reached a bench a block from Heeros house. He plopped on to the tarnished wood, holding his head in his hands.

 /What's wrong with me? I've never done this before, why now?/

(I know why)

The braided teen shuddered. On top of everything else, **_it _**was back.

/What do you want?/

(Nothing)

Duo frowned at the ground. /I know that tone of voice and it never means nothing. So c'mon, spill/

His imagination snickered. (Or what? You'll beat it outta me? Hah! Go for it.)

Duo grinned a devilishly menacing grin and raised his clenched fist infront of his eyes. The voice tutted back.

(Won't work)

/Who said I'm beating it out of you?/

(…what then?) it ventured

The grin widened. /Oh you'll see, and there's no hiding from me/

~*~*~*~*~

His imagination considered the possibility of the devil sharing the same head as it. Duo had thought up some of the most sadistic methods of torturing his own imagination, without even using it to imagine them in the first place. Hysterical laughter danced around Duos head, and his imagination knew it only too well.

(So it is you)

Green eyes blinked malevolently as it bounded closer, a bundle grasped in its ambiguous hand.

'Shinigami at your service' it hissed. The latter squirmed uncomfortably. Well, would have if it had a body.

(Stop, just please stop. I give up; I surrender. Just stop him thinking!) It pleaded tearfully

Shinigami looked wistfully at the collection of Spice Girls CDs in his hand and shrugged.

'Not up to me, ask him yourself'

The imagination whimpered and crept forward (… Duo?)

Duos loud and cheerful voice answered. /Yup?/

(Sorry)

/Are you sure? No messing about or pulling pranks?/

His imagination dropped its metaphorical gaze.

(I swear! Just stop thinking of your grandparents… **_doing_** things!)

It heard Duos exaggerated 'hmm'ing echo.

/Weeell… I suppose so. Okay, I call a truce/

(Thank you) it gushed ecstatically

/Alright, what did you mean in the first place?/

(What? … Oh yeah, it's obvious why you're acting like a moron infront of Heero)

It waited patiently for Duo to process the information,

/Why?/

And then tried to hit itself with a fist it didn't have.

(Gah! You can be so dense at times. Listen carefully to my next few words. You, as in Duo, like, or are attracted to, the person you identify as – now are you ready for this part, brace yourself - )

/Get on with it!/

(Fine then. Heero. You like Heero.)

Duo paused /I know. He's my friend/

It growled in exasperation 

(No, you don't just like him as a friend. You want him badly in so many other ways.) It huffed

/What d'you mean by those other ways?/ he asked suspiciously

It sighed wearily. (You do realise I'm your imagination. I take bits and bobs from the brain and work with it to create something, lets say – for arguments sake – an image of a certain blue-eyed, brown haired Japanese teen named Heero. And this is accurate because it's taken directly from your knowledge. Now, what happens next is your brain knows you want him, and when I go to create now images and daydreams, I get bombarded with scenarios of all those **_other _**ways you want Heero)

/What?!/

(On the kitchen table, on your school desk, chained up. My, you are quite the horny one.)

Duo flushed bright red. /That's a lie/

(Really. Why would I lie about it?)

Duo shrugged.

(Exactly. Just face it, you like boys, specifically Heero.)

Duo sat in silence, thinking of the facts just presented to him. He weighed up the pros and cons with careful deliberation. He considered the option that he might, infact be, a bit gay. But only a little bit. And then after an hour or so of catching he old steam trains of thought through his head, he came to the Earth shattering conclusion.

/I am completely and utterly gay/

His imagination cheered (Told ya!)

Duo nodded, a memory dawning on him in a horrific realisation.

/Heero/

(Ah, your embarrassing moment)

Duo cringed, rubbing his face slowly.

/I've to go to him for maths tuition tomorrow/

(Looky my dear boy. Ring him now and apologise for your behaviour, blame it on caffeine and lack of sleep. Then ask what time you're to be there for. It's all sorted.)

/I don't have his number/

(Stun him with your fantastic resources and look his name up in the phone book. It's what all those crazy kids are doing these days.)

Duo snorted /No need for sarcasm. Alright, I'll call him/

(Attaboy!)

/Shut up, or else…/

(I'm done)

______________________________________

[1] For the non-Nirvana fans: Nevermind is the name of one of their albums. Pointless bit of info.


	3. Hijinks 3

Hijinks in Maths part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys and never will etc…

///Duos thoughts///

(((imaginations thoughts)))

'Shinigami'

Duo took one last look in the mirror before grabbing his bag and running out the door. He slowed to a walk once he rounded the corner and walked briskly down the street, the cool breeze ruffling through his hair. This whole gay business wasn't that bad. I mean, there were the perks – well, of course there was always the _perks- _but they were the kind that made him happy that showering after PE was mandatory. Not that he was a pervert in any way, but soap was such a slippery object…

His thoughts floated to Heero. He lived less than ten minutes away and never knew him until a week ago because of that *_incident_*. But only good things can come from bad situations – at least that was the general theory. Maybe he would be more than friends with the Japanese youth. As if to illustrate, an image of Heero popped up in his mind and smiled seductively at him, crooking a finger. Duo grinned. So far it was looking good. Heeros smile turned into a pleading pout as he fumbled with his jeans, motioning for Duo to take them off. The braided teen was only too willing to comply. He moved forward, flexing his imaginary fingers for some imaginary fun, and reached for Heeros zipper. The latter shifted into a provocative pose, leaning in for a kiss as Duos eyes slid shut, his hand blindly seeking denim. His fingertips brushed over rough fabric and immediately grabbed a handful of… He paused. It felt like… straw? Duo stood back and stared at Heero in shock. It didn't usually go like this. Since when had he imagined him in a Hula skirt? Heero beamed vacantly and absentmindedly strummed the ukulele under his arm. He pranced stiffly to Duo, draping a bright pink wreath of flowers around his neck.

No, it had **_never_** gone like this. Insane laughter started from the depths of somewhere and eventually settled on a more tired chuckle.

(You like? It's something I've been working on. Mind you, I had to pull a few strings with the conscience department; they weren't too keen on the idea. They came aro-)

/What do you want?!/

His imagination tried to look affronted. (Me? I thought I'd try a different angle, bring a bit of colour into the daydreams.)

/But I don't want that. It **_was_** going nicely until **you** interrupted!/

His imagination sniffed haughtily. (You're just mad you didn't get his pants off.)

Duo growled. /No I'm not! Now go away before I get to Heeros, I've maths to learn and I don't want you bugging me, got it?/

There was a slight gap of silence. (Maths?)

Duo nodded. /Incase you've forgotten, He's going over everything that I couldn't do in the exam./

(He's going over **_everything_**, eh?) It snickered. The violet-eyed boy scowled in exasperation.

/Yes! You do remember my algebra, don't you?! All those bloody lovely simultaneous equations and tangents?!/

His imagination laughed in disbelief (Listen boy, the only simultaneous equations that you're interested in are the ones that add up to 69)

Duo blushed. /Who said that's true?/

(Ooh yeah, you want to get parallel with him!)

/Shut up/

(You want to find the volume of his spherical objects!)

/Stop it/

(You want-)

/If the next words I hear go along the lines of me wanting to do something mathematical in a completely different context with Heero, I'm calling Shinigami/

His imagination silenced. (I'm good)

/Just leave now, I really have to pay attention/

His imagination tried desperately to bite back the jokes, relying on the fact that if it didn't – It'd be stuck in Duos head with a psychotic presence that probably wouldn't go away, even if asked nicely. It realised it really didn't have the best deal as far as imaginations went. It had to put up with all the aggravation, not to mention sheer terror that it encountered in Duos head. The Imagination shuddered violently. And there had been all _that_ business with the grandparents. Naked, SWEATY, wrinkled skin… flying**_ everywhere_**. Duo was definitely going to pay – revenge was something best served cold. It never really understood why exactly it was best served cold, it'd make sense if it was ice cream because then there'd be a reason for it being cold. It sighed dejectedly. Thinking wasn't it's strong point, it preferred to leave all that to the crotch. They had a good life down there, albeit the nausea from the constant elevator effect. The imagination sighed again, suddenly becoming aware of burning green eyes watching it.

'You called?'

___________________________

Duo arrived at Heeros house ten minutes early and knocked on the white door. He dug his hands into his pockets and jigged impatiently from foot to foot trying to keep warm. A middle-aged woman answered with a welcoming smile.

"You must be Duo, come in."

She stood back, shutting the door after him.

"I'm Mrs. Yuy, I've heard so many good things about you from Heero."

"Thank you." he replied in surprise. It wasn't often that people said nice things about him; they usually focused on the really horrific details that embarrassed the hell out of him. Mrs. Yuy took his jacket, hanging it over the radiator. She patted her dark hair out of her eyes and smiles again. She looked very much like Heero, even down to that piercing gaze.

"I'm afraid Heero's in the shower now, he's just back from swimming. But do go upstairs and make yourself at home, he should be done shortly."

Duo found himself beaming at her as he walked up the stairs. Such a nice woman. He made his way to Heeros room and sat on the bed waiting. The hum of the shower stopped soon after followed by muffled bumps and the door clicked open. Duo leaned sideways on the end of the bed, craning his neck to see properly down the hallway. Steam flooded from the bathroom and he caught a slight glimpse of skin. He frowned. Stupid door was blocking his way. He edged closer, managing to see bits of Heeros toned back as he leaned over the railings, shouting Japanese downstairs. 

So close.

Not one to be put off by trivial obstacles such as doors and walls that blocked his view of a half naked, wet and steamy Heero Yuy, he squirmed over even further. A cream towel came into view and Duo grinned. There is a God. He cast his eyes upwards in afterthought.

/Would there be any chance of a God of sudden powerful gusts of wind?/

As if some divine, unexplainable force had heard him, a small gasp came from the landing and the towel slipped dangerously to the floor. Duo froze in the sudden realisation: 

/Heero is all nekkid!/

With all his skills as a closet-case voyeur, he subtly peered around the small corner that blocked the heavenly view from him. Bronzed skin appeared inch by inch followed by muscled arms and a toned torso. And if he moved a little to the left, he could see **_everything_**. Duo thought long and hard about it, deciding he was a person full of morals and was in no way a pervert. Then again, it was his duty to look. What if Heero had a growth he wasn't aware of? It could be fatal if Duo didn't look; Heeros life was in his hands. 

It was a strange conclusion, but a conclusion none-the-less. At least he didn't have to think long and hard anymore; he'd soon know. [1] He grinned again and tilted sideways, putting his hand out to steady himself… and kept going until he thumped on to the floor. He groaned in pain. At lest he landed on something relatively soft. He shifted slightly and a sharp pain jolted through his shoulder. Oh wait, that something relatively soft was his arm. Go figure. Heero appeared at the door clutching the towel and Duo eyed it with jealousy.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded, rolling over into a sitting position,

"Just peachy."

"Give me a minute to get changed and I'll be with you then."

"K." 

The Japanese teen grabbed a pair of loose pyjama bottoms and went back into the bathroom. Duo pulled himself on to the bed carefully, stretching his arm over his head. At least it wasn't broken. He retrieved his bag, tugging his maths book out reluctantly and began to rethink the tuition. Sure, he was learning more and Heero was a whiz when it came to anything mathematical – but he was also a genius at making the smallest gesture completely arousing. Like his habit of sucking on the top of his pen when he was thinking, or when his tongue rested on his lower lip at a particularly difficult question. He was gorgeous… he was beautiful.

Heero walked into the room, flannel trousers riding low on his hips and sauntered up behind an impassive Duo who was at the desk and deep in thought. He placed his hand on Duos shoulder and reached for his t-shirt stuck in the corner between the desk and wall. Duo immediately snapped out of his trance only to be confronted with a very intimate view of Heeros chest, still with small beads of water clinging to him. His mind raced into overdrive as Heero shuffled to his bed, struggling to put the top on, muscles flexing with the movement.

/Shit! Not now./

He crossed his legs and stared intently at his maths book, it never occurred to him how interesting statistics was. Heero continued to parade around with the t-shirt stuck over his head and Duo groaned inwardly. Life wasn't fair. He glanced over his shoulder, instantly regretting it. Heero was looking so fuckable and it was taking all his willpower not to jump him. He gritted his teeth and bit down on his lip.

/Thinkmathsihatemathsalgebratrigonometrymathsteachernakedheeronakedbloodymathsfuckitall/

His head started flooding with images and daydreams and he sighed. At least daydreaming wasn't as lethal. An imaginary Heero appeared, fumbling with a t-shirt and Duo frowned. Maybe this kind of thinking wasn't as safe either. Imaginary Heero flailed around and Duo shrugged. Well, it was all in his head, what did it matter. He projected a vision of himself into his mind and grinned as Heero declared defeat with his shirt, arms crossed in frustration. Duo crept towards him, hands running up his smooth stomach and he pulled the t-shirt off deftly. Cobalt orbs glinted from beneath the unruly mop of hair as Duo moved closer, his finger tracing Heeros jawline. His other hand slid around the slim hips, drawing the Japanese teen within centimetres of him. He rocked against the lithe body, holding Heeros chin between his fingers.

"Duo?"

"Hm?"

He began drifting reluctantly from his hazy thoughts.

"Duo?"

Heeros husky voice mumbled by his ear. Some frantic signal bleeped in the back of his head. He hadn't remembered Heero being that close. He returned to reality, focusing on a pair of curious Prussian eyes infront of his face. Duo panicked, reaching for the end of his braid only to realise his arm was wrapped around Heeros waist. His features drained of colour and he jumped back.

/Fuck, don't tell me- /

(Yup, it's real)

His eyes widened in fear as Heeros expression fell into one of pure shock. He dropped his gaze to the floor, cringing in embarrassment.

/What did you do?/

His imagination snickered evilly.

(It's called revenge, best served cold – so I hear. In your case it's an exception though, your cheeks are flaming, it's an inferno in here.)

Duo narrowed his eyes viciously at the voice. /Pity/ he hissed venomously.

"Duo – "

" – Sorry."

He pushed past Heero, jogging down the steps two at a time and grabbed his jacket on the way out. The door banged shut after him and he stormed off down the street. Cruel laughter bounced around his head.

/How did you do that?!/

'Sorry, couldn't resist it.' Another voice whispered.

/You got Shinigami to help you?! You bastard!/

(Hey, you left me no choice. I had to.)

/You've completely ruined things for me now!/

The imagination sighed sarcastically. (I fail to see the point.)

/I'm gonna get kicked outta maths AND have the school thinking I'm a bloody fag!/

(But you are)

Duos eye twitched uncontrollably. /You'd better disappear NOW before I get really pissed off./

(Or what?) It taunted, (I got Shinigami here, you can't do anything.)

/Really?/ He cracked his knuckles, /Shin?/

The dark figure bounded into his minds eye, green eyes piercing the gloom.

'Yes?'

/Keep it away from me with whatever you think is necessary./

The presence hesitated. 'Anything?'

Duo grinned his devils grin. /Oh yes, anything you can think of./

Shinigami smirked gleefully as he hauled the terrified imagination to the furthest corner of Duos mind.

'Pleasure doing business with you boss.'

___________________________

_*few days later*_

"Duo! Someone's on the phone for you!"

His mother screeched over the Chilli Peppers bass line. Duo picked up the extension in his room, banging on the door to show he had the call.

"Hello?"

He shifted the phone, wedging it between his chin and shoulder.

"Hang on, I can't hear you."

He turned the volume down, "Okay, you can talk."

"Duo?"

Shit. Heero. He inhaled deeply.

"Yeah?"

"You left your stuff in my house."

Duo chewed on his finger nervously. "Yeah?"

"Do you want it back?"

"Yeah."

He heard Heero sigh in frustration. "Are you going to talk to me at all?"

Duo stared at his feet, answering in a small voice. "Yeah."

"Okay, good. Are you coming back for tuition?"

He twisted a loose strand of hair absentmindedly around his finger. "But – "

"No buts, I'm gonna teach you."

"Alright" he mumbled, "but can I – "

"Nope. I've nothing on this afternoon if you want to start at the usual time."

Duo smirked. /Nothing on, eh? …/

"Sure, I'll be there soon."

He almost heard Heero breaking into a broad smile on the other end of the line.

"Great, see you then."

He hung up leaving Duo with a dull buzz. The braided teen placed the phone back on the receiver quietly. Things could get awkward if he went back to Heeros, but he also needed to stay in pass level maths if he wanted to go to college. He threw on his boots, lacing them up quickly. His pride would have to suffer. He gathered his things together and pounded down the stairs.

"GoingtoHeerosformathsbebacksoonloveyabye!"

The door slammed shut.

"What was that dear?"

___________________________

He couldn't concentrate. He tried, God knows he tried, but his thoughts were crammed with three things that refuse to go and clung tenaciously to his mind. Firstly, he couldn't stop thinking about his blunder with Heero. Every time he looked at him, memories danced infront of his eyes. To say the least, it was really annoying. And secondly, it didn't help that every time he looked at him, he wanted to partake in random acts of sexual whatnot with him. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably, attempting to take in what Heero was saying about trigonometry. Or was it differentiation?

Fuck. He lost track again. Oh well.

And then there was that damn question that plagued him for years. _Who_ was the first person to discover milk could come from a cow? Did they just walk up to it and wonder what would happen if they squeezed those dangly things? And if so, was that experiment tried on people, let's say a man … 

"Do you understand?"

Duo blinked. "What?"

Heero looked at him expectantly and gestured to a graph. So, they were studying statistics. Great.

"…em…"

Heero shook his head wearily, running his fingers through his messy hair.

"You've to try to pay attention."

"I know I know, I'm sorry."

He sat up straight, nodding enthusiastically. "Right, I'm focused. Let's go!"

"D'you want a rink? I'm getting thirsty from all the talking."

Duo slumped back on to the table, shoving the maths book away.

"Please, the numbers are killing me."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "What about the optimism and focus on maths?"

Duo snorted, burying his head in his hands. "I have a limited amount of interest to spread around and maths aint anywhere near the top of my list."

Heero stood up and rooted around the presses for cups.

"And what is at the top of your list?"

Duo froze, peeking cautiously behind him at Heero whose back was turned. Was he serious? A few days ago he nearly ha d his way with him, albeit unknowingly, and he wanted to know where Duos top interests and priorities lay. For a genius he was dense. Duo smile to himself. But he was really cute too. He blushed at the memory of the half naked teen guarded only by a flimsy towel; Heero was completely clueless as to how much he infatuated him. The mere sight of him drove the braided youth crazy. The object of his affection placed a cup of a tangy smelling liquid infront of him and sat down.

"So?"

Duo sipped the drink approvingly and glanced to Heero in puzzlement.

"So, what?"

"Top of your list?"

"Oh," he waved a hand dismissively, picking up the cup again, "World peace, you know the story. Okay, maths – "

Heero laughed in disbelief. "World peace?"

"I see nothing wrong with it, now can we please get back to – "

"You expect me to believe that of all the things that peak your interest, crusading for world peace is one of them?"

"Yeah, are you g – "

"Seriously?"

A cheeky grin played over his features and his eyes sparkled with mirth. Duo grabbed his book, hunching over it and began to read out loud.

"To find the average you add all the numbers together and divide by the amount – "

"What are you doing?"

Duo swung around haughtily. "Teaching myself because you won't. So that means 14 times 6 equals … 82 – "

" – 84"

Duo glared at him. "84. And divide that by the number of participants which is 9, gives me … 8."

"9.33"

Duo slapped his hand on the table irately.

"Did I ask you?!"

Heero shrugged innocently, saying nothing.

"… so I get 9.33 which is the average."

The Japanese teen grinned broadly. "Very good."

Duo scowled, "Don't start patronising me."

"I wouldn't dream of it. But you need to work on your multiplication and division."

"I'll have a calculator in the exam."

"What if the batteries run out?"

"I can do the little sums on the side of the page."

Heero stared into the violet eyes in amusement.  "Really?" He leaned forward, smirking. "Let's do this **_orally _**first."

Duos eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"15 by 3?"

Oh, **_that_** kind of oral.

"...emm… 47"

"45. 18 by 18?"

"…364"

"324. Come on, answer quicker. 19 by 3?"

"58"

"57. 8 by 14?"

"320."

"Way off. 112."

"What?! 8 by 40 is 320."

"I said 14 not **_40_**."

"Oh."

"Good answer though. Let's take this down a notch, 9 by 9."

"72"

"81"

___________________________

_*five minutes later*_

Duo chewed on the end of his pen, sticking his tongue out at Heero.

"I do believe this is called patronising Duo."

Heero smiled. "Nonsense. Now answer. 2 by 8?"

Duo glared at him, "16."

"Excellent! Now for the tough one." His smile increased a fraction, "2 by 6?"

Duo folded his arms and stared at Heero dryly. "90" he replied deliberately.

Heero chuckled. "If you're gonna play it that way. 1 by 2?"

The violet-eyed boy snorted. "That's the best you can do Yuy? Simple, 2."

He grinned slowly at Heeros reaction.

"Nope."

"What?!" he bristled angrily at the brown haired teen. "Tell me then, if you're such a fucking maser at this!"

Something glinted in Heeros eyes, his expression immediately slipping into an emotion Duo never saw before. He shoved his chair away, pushing a stunned Duo against that table and a sultry pout flickered over his tanned face. Duo instantly felt himself going hard as Heero straddled him, purring with pleasure as he rocked against Duos body. He leaned forward, nipping at the soft flesh on his neck.

"I'll tell you what it is…" he murmured seductively. He drew his tongue across Duos lip, his hand already sliding under the latters jumper as Duo moaned softly

"… It's a whole lot of fucking fun."

__________________________________________________________

[1] badumbum-tsh!!

Yeah, so that's it. I'm considering a follow up to this but it may not be around for a while because I've too much things to do and finish. ^_^


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